Woman seeks advice after sister refuses to pay for her children on family vacation

After enduring financial difficulties between her and her husband, a woman demanded that her sister also pay for her children while on vacation.

A woman shared her story with Newsweek’s advice column and sought expert advice on his situation.

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“We have been going on vacation with my sister, her husband and her 2 daughters since they were born. We rent a house in West Virginia every year with them and our mom,” the woman wrote.

She brought up the girls’ rental fees several times with her sister.

She felt that they should split the costs based on the number or room usage of the two families.

“I was worried she’d get mad and wouldn’t see my nieces when they were little (they live out of state) so I dropped her at the time because she’s resentful,” the woman added.

The woman and her husband have no children, so she felt it was unfair that the costs were distributed unfairly.

Also, when they are on vacation, her sister and brother-in-law demand to stay in the master bedroom while she and her husband have to take a fold-out sofa in the living room.

Recently the kids turned 12 and 14 so needed separate bedrooms as a form of privacy.

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As a result, they had to rent a bigger house with more rooms which cost more.

“So I said, ‘It’s time to include the girls in the house cost count, now that they’re young women who need private rooms,'” the woman explained.

Her sister didn’t like it and got angry with her because she still didn’t want to pay for her children.

Instead, she went to tell their mother about it, which also prompted her to turn against the woman.

“I just want things to be shared fairly and that we don’t profit from anything anymore. I should also mention that they have two houses, one of which is in a resort area, and they are very wealthy. So it’s not like they can’t afford to pay their fair share,” the woman added.

Experts believed that before communicating with her sister, the woman should acknowledge her role in their family dynamic.

“In the situation you described, you felt something was unfair and you expressed your opinion. But you were afraid of your sister’s wrath, so you held your tongue for years until you hit another boiling point,” said Dan Pallesen, a financial psychologist.

“This again angered your sister and pressured your mother to back down. It seems that you and your family value peace more than fairness.

Pallesen claimed that the woman’s calm and silence on the issue over the years may have heightened her sister’s anger and offered solutions to resolve their conflict.

“Instead of complaining about the accommodation, you can say something like, ‘It’s hard to talk about because I’m really enjoying our time together, but I’m starting to feel taken advantage of,'” Pallesen added.

A family therapist, Jennifer Kelman also advised the woman to communicate with her sister in a calm manner.

Kelman wrote: “I would suggest that you reach out to your sister and let her know that you have enjoyed these family trips together and want to continue to have wonderful relationships all around, but felt that there had an inequity in terms of finance.”

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Sanika Nalgirkar is a news and entertainment writer. She holds a master’s degree in creative writing. See more of her writing on his website.

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