Mottos that I preach and struggle to live

I think we all understand that it can often be much easier to give advice than to follow it. For some reason, the perfectly crafted words of wisdom we offer our friends as solutions to their life problems don’t work for ours. Depending on the situation, I have mottos that I constantly regurgitate to my friends, and they turn out to be quite applicable in my own life.

The most commonly used motto I have is that “Two things may be true.” I find myself using it all the time. Especially in situations where friends are divided in their feelings. I find this to be a useful quote because often there is tremendous pressure to feel only one way about a situation. This tends to be hard for me to accept, as having more than one feeling about a situation can be really confusing and difficult to accept. In providing this reminder to my friends, my goal is basically for them to feel that all of their feelings are validated. It’s normal to have conflicting thoughts.

As cliché as it sounds, I also always tell my friends to “Let it go.” Sometimes we can get upset over insignificant things. The stress of getting upset about something that usually doesn’t matter is significant and can be very difficult to manage. In situations where it is not imperative to solve a problem, it may be best to walk away from the situation altogether. It’s the hardest thing to do. In the moment, small things can seem incredibly important. Feelings in the moment are raw, perhaps irrational, and need to be considered. However, at the time, this was not the case. I advise my friends to take a step back and try to see the bigger picture, but that’s a hard skill to develop. Not everything has to end in a fight and protecting your own energy sometimes requires walking away.

Finally, we’ve all heard the classic, “Everything happens for a reason.” It’s very overused and honestly can be the most boring thing to say. However, I still find myself saying it a lot, and so do most people. It can be really irritating because we usually hear it at a time when something really stressful or horrible is happening. At times like these, being told that is infuriating. The idea that for some reason bad things happen to us is so hard to fathom while they are happening. I often say this to take some of the stress out of my friends, to imply that there’s a good outcome to what they’re going through. Eventually, this usually turns out to be true, because there is usually growth that happens to everything that happens to us.

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At the end of the day, saying the same thing to friends all the time to ease the stresses of life can be irritating, but it’s important to recognize that the irritation they face when we do this also happens. when the roles are reversed. This does not mean that we are throwing these currencies out the window. However, when we see how we respond to it, we should expect to understand how our friends will respond in the same way.

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