Am I the Jerk Head shit face?
Am I the Jerk Head Crap Face for refusing to let my boyfriend have my bank account information to make a purchase? That’s the question u/Des1433 request on Reddit. I say no, no how, but what do you say?
Dices and her boyfriend have been dating for 8 months and things are going pretty well. They don’t live together (yay!) and, “When it comes to money and expenses, we’d take turns inviting each other over every week… Several times he made me pay for his kid’s shopping. I didn’t make a big deal out of it just because these purchases were relatively small, all I had to pay was $30-$60.”
Sounds like a solid couple with good boundaries, so what’s the deal?
He is angry at her for not sharing her banking information with him. Like, really upset. Strangely upset. Upset red flag. Here’s what she says”
“The other day he called me while I was at work and sounded in a hurry. He said he had just found the gaming device he had been looking for for so long and he wanted to buy it for his eldest son… he told me he was short of money and needed $300. I agreed. He asked me for my bank details so he could withdraw the money, but I refused and told him to wait for me until I arrived.
Ahhhh….she a) said no and ii) showed she was smart about finances and banking information. He didn’t like it and yelled at her, which convinced her that she had made the right decision. She says, “I said no anyway and told him to wait or I won’t pay.” he kept talking loudly, so she hung up.
Fast forward to the end of the day, she comes home and there’s Mr. Shouty waiting for her, still does. The conversation was basically…
Mr. Shouty – “Why didn’t you just send me the account information so I could withdraw the money we agreed upon?”
Of the – “I don’t feel comfortable letting anyone have my personal information, especially when it comes to finances.”
Shouty McShoutShout – “I’M NOT ANYBODY, I’M YOUR PARTNER (BEEP)! I ended up not paying for the game device after all this time looking for it and now my kid is mad at me and c it’s your fault!”
When he left he said she better not call him unless it’s to apologize and now she’s wondering if she’s the Jerk Head Crap Face and should apologize.
First, no. I tell you that. A radio guy on the internet machine, so you know that’s a good answer. But @patchgrrl says it best…
“NOT the JHCF at all. OP set a reasonable limit and he went ballistic. Waiting outside the house was a manipulative tactic. Denying his entry/hospitality/security and insisting on airing their argument at the street to try to make her feel shy upstairs Her behavior screams scam, scummy, not worth the money.
Was McShouts going to do something much worse?
DogsReadingBooks pointed out something I suspected, “He was definitely going to take over $300.” Obviously, we can’t prove that…it seems so sketchy.
My personal theory is that there was no toy. He’s a good-for-nothing cheater and he needed the money for the other person. Or something else, maybe illicit substances, gambling debt… who knows?
What do you think?
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In the meantime, things are going much better for this couple.
Ever wanted to get married at an amusement park on the way?