Good afternoon, news: advice from an ex-Wheeler, Planned Parenthood employee on moving to the OR-ID border and sunk Yer Warship, Russia! – Blogville

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To counter Idaho’s new anti-abortion legislation, Planned Parenthood plans to set up a clinic on the Oregon-Idaho border. Michael B. Thomas/Getty News

GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Who’s up for more fucking hail, mixed with sun, heat, freezing weather, and God knows what else? It’s called “April high energy!” Now on to some NEWS.

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IN THE LOCAL NEWS:

• How was it to work at Portland City Hall for six years, especially under Mayor Ted Wheeler’s divisive regime? Find out in this Alex Zielinski exit interview with Seraphie Allen, Wheeler’s most veteran employee. (Which sometimes gets VERY spicy!)

• Thanks to Idaho’s recent crappy anti-abortion legislation, which prohibits the medical procedure after six weeks of pregnancy and allows family members to sue abortion providers, a new Planned Parenthood will be located at the border between Oregon and Idaho… about an hour’s drive from Boisé. Check and mate, buttholes.

• Portland transportation officials want to control traffic in the Lloyd neighborhood during major events at the Moda Center and other locations, while encouraging the use of public transportation. So how are they going to do this? By increasing parking prices, as in a lot. Our Isabella Garcia has more.

• I’m with Multnomah County on this one: “Multnomah County Moves to Ban For-Profit Displays of Human Remains After Body Dissection at Portland Hotel.”

IN NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

• Ukraine claims the sinking of a major Russian warship in the Black Sea, while Russia claims it was an accident on board (which no one really believes).

• Twitter executives and employees are worried about a possible hostile takeover by billionaire Elon Musk, and with good reason, because no one really knows what harm he would cause.

• One of the domestic terrorists who took part in the attack on the nation’s capital on January 6 has been convicted on all six counts against him…even though he tried to pin the blame on Trump. (Hey hey hey.)

• Crybaby Republicans Cry Again: The Republican National Committee voted unanimously to withdraw from the Commission on Presidential Debates—which organizes all presidential debates before the general election—because, “WAHHHH! unfair to us!”

• The FDA has approved the first-ever COVID breath test machine that can be used by medical providers to get results in three minutes.

• AHOY, STONERS! The SPLIFF Film Festival, showcasing short, hilarious, trippy and thoughtful cannabis mini-films made by smokers like YOU, is coming to Revolution Hall for one night only on Saturday, April 16! GET THESE TICKETS NOW! (And speaking of cravings, your favorite week of the year is almost here: it’s Mercury‘s PIZZA WEEK with $3 specialty slices at 28 Portland-area locations, Monday, April 18-24. Eat them!)

• And finally… don’t… do not do itDON’T… He did it.

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