Advice for women with ADHD

Women with ADHD rarely make friends easily. We can come across as too loud and brash, too distracted and forgetful, or too incoherent and overwhelmed. With each sting of rejection or exclusion, we become less and less likely to pursue new friendships, especially after moving to a new community.

Here’s the irony: in our individual solitude, we are connected. Below, hear about the silent struggles of other women with ADHD and how members of the ADDitude Facebook community learned how to make new friends after a big move — or no move at all.

“When you find another mother with ADHD, it’s like finding a Unicorn. I have a “mom friend” with ADHD and she is awesome. » —Jesse

“I just moved to a 55+ community with so much going on. They say it’s harder as you get older, then add ADHD to the mix. I am a hermit, and I shouldn’t be. — Susanna

“Three things helped me make friends: volunteering as a room mom in preschool, a volunteer in the elementary school library, and joining Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR). Joining DAR has been key to making lasting friendships outside of my children’s circles. — Pam

[Download: How to Master Small Talk]

“I’ve met a lot of other moms since I got back to my hometown, but it seems like I’m sharing too much, overwhelming or seem too needy.” — Amy

“It took me more than 10 years to make friends here. I got married, moved away, had a baby and was very isolated for the first few years. I was young and didn’t have “friend moms” or anything in common with most of the other moms I met. I am also introverted and neurodivergent. I suggest you get involved in your community in some way hobbies that interest you so you can find people you have something in common with. —Sarah

“I returned to the United States after living abroad for 15 years. I’ve been here almost seven years and still don’t feel like I’ve found any real close friends. Sometimes I felt someone could be a friend to me, but I never heard from them again. I learned so much about ADHD and sometimes we feel so alone.” — Courtney

“It’s scary, but you have to join organizations. We moved four years ago, and I’ve only just found a social outlet. Sure, it’s terrifying, but you have to take a risk. — Helen

[ADDitude eBook: The ADHD Guide to Making Social Connections]

“Our family emigrated and I struggled for three years to make friends.” – Liesel

“If you don’t have outside interest or employment that puts you in a place where you are exposed to people, it can be hard to meet and make new friends. —Jo Ann

I haven’t had any friends since high school. I am 64 years old… My husband and I go to church regularly and used to get involved in hopes of making friends working together but to no avail. Fortunately, my husband is my best friend and loves being with me. He understands my depression and my ADD. —Kathy

“It has as much to do with [other people] at home. They established relationships, families and little time to stretch emotionally.” -Sharon

“I have I struggled with this all my life (60 years).” Jamie

Read more comments in the ADDitude Facebook group for adults with ADHD.

How to Make Friends as a Woman with ADHD: Next Steps


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